On Piss-Poor Support…

Ok – I just had an interaction with a “technical” support rep from Symantec that is quite simply driving me insane.

I want to thank “Shajeewin” for renewing my objection to outsourcing jobs overseas.  Yes people, it’s cheaper.  But then again you do get what you pay for.  This “person” (and I use the term loosely) had an interaction with me that doesn’t pass the Turing test.  Note to companies – if you’re going to outsource your support to a third-world country, pick one that can fucking speak *AND UNDERSTAND* the English language first.  *THEN* see if you can find one who is technically competent.

Then fuck-off for outsourcing jobs when we have 10+ million unemployed in our own country.

Background:  I am trying to set up a customer who wants to push a Disaster Recovery image of ONE computer system across the internet to my datacenter, to be used in case their building becomes a smoking hole in the ground.

Initial push of data is about 30 gig, daily updates in the megabytes range.  The hard part is this customer isn’t the type to spend a lot of money on Bandwidth, so went with Verizon DSL, with it’s whopping 128K upstream speed.  (Verizon – you suck too.  #justsaying)

My solution for this was to do the inital backup to a USB drive, hand-carry it to my system and upload it, and then push the incremental updates over the wire.  Simple, right?  (Trust me, it is)

So I look at Norton/Symantec Ghost.  First option, I’ve always liked Norton – though in retrospect I’m changing my mind about that QUICKLY.

Here is the chat that ensued (with my after-the-fact comments thrown in)

Issue: Need to be able to do an initial recovery point to usb disk and subsequent recovery points to network using Ghost. (Ghost 10, which I currently have, doesn’t support it)
Jesse has entered room.

Email with reconnect link has been sent to:jg@50micron.com – If you get disconnected, click the link to reconnect to the same chat session.

Shajeewin has entered room.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:20:34 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

You are being transferred to Shajeewin.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:20:35 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Welcome to Norton Support, my name is Shajeewin, Can I please have a minute to go through the information you have provided?

(Is it really that difficult – Oh that’s right, I understand – you need to get that English/Hindi dictionary out)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:20:54 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Sure.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:21:53 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Hi Jesse , How are you doing today?

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:22:39 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Not bad, provided you can give me a decent answer to a simple question.

(Ok, maybe I did start off a bit snarky…)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:23:28 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Jesse, I see that you need to perform Backup to a network drive using the Norton Ghost product?

(Yes….he got the basics…however:)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:24:20 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

You didn’t read the whole thing.  I need to sneaker-net the original recovery point via a USB harddrive, and then update that recovery point over the network.

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:24:50 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

(initial recovery point is over 30G, subsequent updates are small)  I only have a half-meg pipe to update over.

(Ok, in retrospect – I threw him a curve ball, by using the words “sneaker-net” which may or may not translate into whatever fuck language he calls his mother tongue)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:26:05 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Thanks, your case number is 497891616 , please write this down.

(Uh oh, here’s where it went downhill – a case # for a usability question?)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:26:21 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

May I know whether you need to restore it?

(No idiot, I’m running backups for the purposes of taking up disk-space – I don’t actually *NEED* the ability to restore them.)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:26:57 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

This is an off-site backup for DR purposes.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:27:47 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

I understand your concern.

(Wrong macro dude – and no, you have no concept -or concern for that matter- of what I’m even talking about.)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:28:35 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

May I know whether you need to restore the Backup image to the same computer that you have performed Backup or a different computer?

(Obviously – still down the wrong tangent)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:29:09 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

If it happens, it will be to a different computer.

(I’m humoring him at this point)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:29:34 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Again – I just need to know if i can hand-carry the first copy to the remote site.

(My attempt at redirecting him…)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:31:08 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Jesse, the Norton Ghost product will not support the restore of One Computer image to a different computer. You can Backup and Restore on the same computer in case of any Hard Drive failures.

(…was apparently totally lost.)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:31:54 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

We can restore the image in recovery mode, by restoring the Base Backup first and then restore the incremental.

(I’m *FAIRLY* certain I understand how backups work – it’s kinda what I fucking do for a living.)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:32:38 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Ok listen.  You’re obviously not getting this.  Can you transfer me to someone who has a better command of the English language?

(Getting *REALLY* annoyed now)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:33:15 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Or do I simply need to find another product?

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:33:52 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear.

(You are clearly an idiot – there, I said it)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:34:13 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

No – you’re perfectly clear, but you’re troubleshooting the wrong problem.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:34:23 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Yes. We can restore using the Big file using the Norton Ghost 15.0 product.

(At this point I wish I had a choke-collar for this guy so i can jerk him back onto the path and say “bad dog”)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:35:06 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

I don’t have a problem with restores.  I have a problem with the initial backup taking 35 hours over the network.  So I need to run the first copy to a USB harddrive, physically transport it, then do subsequent updates via the network.  Got it?

(Yank on the leash)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:35:50 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Yes. Thank you for the information.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:37:34 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

We cannot Backup the initial Backup to one location and then the incremental to the Network drive. Since the incremental Backup will depends upon the Base Backup.

(Close, but no banana.  You missed the part about the backup being transported physically to the remote network drive.)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:38:01 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Even if the initial backup is then copied to the network location?

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:38:46 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

No Jesse. The Norton Ghost product will not recognize it. I am sorry.

(Ok, finally an answer…even if it’s a sucky one)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:39:28 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Becuase like Ghost10, it incorporates the path into the metadata of the backup, right?

(Ok, why am *I* the one who had to say this?)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:40:07 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Yes Jesse.
Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:41:46 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

idiotic way to do things.  I’ll investigate other options.

(I’m angry – because this is now going on 20 minutes of my life I’ll never get back)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:42:06 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

You are welcome Jesse.

(WTF???)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:42:13 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

I’m sorry for the inconvenience that this is causing.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:42:16 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Is there anything else that I can help you with?

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:43:30 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

you don’t mind if I cut this chat-log to a blog post do you?  it’s painfully funny and a great example of why technical jobs shouldn’t be outsourced.

(Ok, that was just a slap – but I think a well deserved one)

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:45:22 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

Jesse, as I haven’t been able to resolve the problem yet, I’d like to transfer you to a Case Manager who will be able to do some deeper analysis. Is that okay with you?

(So the product doesn’t do what I need it to do, but you’re going to transfer me to someone else who is going to tell me the same thing and waste even more of my time?)

Jesse(Wed Feb 24 2010 14:45:41 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

whatever.

Shajeewin(Wed Feb 24 2010 11:47:28 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time))>

I will transfer your case immediately. It could take a minute or two for [him/her] to pick up your case.  Please hold on.

</gripe>