On Christmas…

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt good about Christmas… Maybe I’m finally growing up, or not growing up.  Finding the inner child that was slaughtered so many years ago.

Christmas was never a happy time growing up.  Oh there were the usual trappings, trees, lights, presents, etc, as-nauseaum,

But it was never a happy time.

Not coming from a “religious” family Christmas was nothing but the commercial bullshit aspect of it, and even then, only carried about because it was what was expected.  Mostly ended up being everyone buying presents for people they really didn’t like as much as they’re trying to pretend they did.

My family Christmas was always the same.

It started with my parents desperately trying to make sure I didn’t get up too early, because after all, mom and dad both VERY busily sleeping off Christmas Eve.

Hey.  I’m six right?  Telling a six-year-old not to wake up early on Christmas morning was like telling republicans not to fuck the middle class.  They’ll look at you all innocent and tell you they’re not going to do it, then do it anyway and not understand why you’re pissed.

But I digress.

I’ve mentioned in (quite a few) past posts that dad was a drinker.  Well add heavy drinking to “some assembly required” and it makes for some fairly creative Christmas presents.  I remember specifically one year I got the bike I’d asked for…but of course he had to go over it and take it apart and put it back together because he’d read the assembly instructions through his scotch-glasses the night before.

My mom was a trip when it came to holidays too.  She didn’t know her kids. (There were six of us mind you)  And when I say she didn’t know us, I mean didn’t know us as in “was completely incapable of naming one thing any of us liked.”

Six kids, six presents.  My mom’s solution?  Find something that looked “fun” and order it.  Qty. = 6.

Nevermind that the difference in age between us is almost 40 years and we span at least two sexes….  Do you really think the same present is appropriate for all six of us?

Christmas was always an afterthought in my household growing up…and it took me a while before I realized that for me it was becoming the same…a time of year to get through…even having kids of my own I had difficulty with the whole “getting into” part of the spirit.

And then there’s my wife.  For whom Christmas is a HUGE deal.  All of our ornaments are glass/porcelain, Lenox collectables.  We have about 50,000 lights for the outside of the house but STILL manage to keep it tasteful; she’s *THAT* kind of into Christmas.

It’s always driven her nuts that I wasn’t more into it.  That I couldn’t seem to get behind it…

So this year, this year I decided something important.  If it brings such light and warmth to my wife….how can I continue to “bah humbug” myself?  To quote Sheryl Crow: “If it makes you happy, then it can’t be that bad.”  Right?

So I’m embracing Christmas this year.  Again, not the religious aspect of it, we’re both kind of beyond that.  So I’ve hung Christmas lights in my hotel/apartment window in Seattle, and I’m avidly shopping for Christmas presents based on what *I* know about my kids… (Which, contrary to popular belief, does NOT necessarily mean what they ask for. )

And maybe it would do for me to not be quite the cynic for once in my life.

Sort of a self-gift.